Top 10 New Features of Microsoft’s New Web Browser:
10: A direct connection to Peter Falk’s glass eye
9: The buttons shaped exactly like Bill Gates’ acne scars
8: Two words: hyper-condiments!
7: Blocks out any references to the cast of “Friends”
6: The Janet Reno-cam
5: Discourages e-mail advertising with “Digital Guido” plug-in
4: Clicking on any button sends $1 to the Gingrich Ethics Fund
3: Smells just like Mom’s meatloaf
2: Modem plays “Inna Godda Da Vida” on dialup
1: Nude chat
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