1234, Main Street
Boston, MA 02123
09 April, 2005
<Recipient Address Goes Here>
I think it’s time to dispel a vicious rumor that’s been going around. Contrary to popular belief, the students at <college name> are not nor have they ever been engaged in any social activities that could be referred to by the debased term, “partying.” We, and I, find such a suggestion insulting and slanderous. We do have a social life here at <college name>. It consists primarily of study groups, folk singing around the fire, afternoon teas, and cotillions which are supervised by a cadre of sexually repressed professors. Personally, I don’t even know the meaning of terms like “beer bong,” “toga,” and “Macarena,” though I suspect the last is something you eat with cheese. I hope this clears up this matter before any damage is done.
encl: <List of enclosed items goes here>