Letters-Home

Top 10 Things Overheard During the Supreme Court Debate Over the Communications Decency Act: 10: How do you plug this thing in? 9: William, does RAM mean what I think it means? 8: Clarence, get your hand off my thigh or you’re a dead man! 7: What the hell’s a megabyte? 6: Okay, somebody find [...]

Top 10 Things Apple Computer Could Do to Improve Business: 10: Stop development on a new computer, the “Worm” 9: CEO Gil Amelio’s baby pictures on company Web site 8: Run ads in retirement magazines that say “Apple, try it before you die” 7: Hire more babes 6: Put out new cellulite-reducing computer, the “Macintush” [...]

Top 10 Suggested New Shapes for the Oval Office: 10: A really thin line 9: A parallelogram 8: Oprah Winfrey’s eye 7: Three words: Anna Nicole Smith 6: Like those cinnamon roll things on Princess Leia’s head 5: Flat 4: Newt’s middle finger 3: Sleek, to slice through the wind 2: Gorbachev’s icky forehead thing [...]

Top 10 Rejected Titles for the Next Star Wars Movie: 10: Ben Gets Laid 9: Galactic Droid Massacre 8: X-Wing This! 7: Destroy all Ewoks 6: Merchandising, the Movie 5: Educating Jabba 4: Send in the Clones 3: Yoda: The Musical 2: I’m Not a Jedi, But I Play One on TV 1: Hyperdriving Miss [...]

Top 10 New Star Trek Aliens: 10: The Bipeds Who Actually Don’t Speak English 9: The Lesbians of Planet Birkenstock 8: The Children of Kirk 7: Punk tribbles 6: The gun-toting rednecks of Planet Militia 5: Trekkers who bathe 4: Emperor Dilbert and Lord Dogbert 3: The lost world of honest Congressmen 2: The Village [...]